All Platforms Want Caruso Dead

We have very big election coming up in Bulgaria- government has fallen, and there is chaos in streets. Here is news report.

Bulgaria will hold an early election on May 12, Rosen Plevneliev, the country's president has said, as the government seeks a way out of a political crisis that could undermine the Balkan country's economic stability. The announcement on Thursday came after Prime Minister Boiko Borisov resigned last week following nationwide protests against high electricity prices, and plans to cut prices and revoke the distribution licence of Czech utility CEZ, which could deter other investors.

However, all factions agree that number one issue is the death of Matt Caruso. Parties disagree on how- Socialist want Caruso to be kicked to death, but right-wing nationalists are more traditional,and want to use old ritual of Flensing with Knives. Dracula Party issued statement just saying "Bleah!" but we know what means. To quote outgoing Prime Minister Boiko Borisov, "Насладете се на медения си месец, скоро ще Bleed!"

Thank you, Daley

This man sealed your fate, Caruso.

Fun Facts!

"Chicago is the city with the largest Bulgarian community. According to different sources there are between 60,000 and 100,000 Bulgarians in the area. The city has been popular among Bulgarians ever since Aleko Konstantinov wrote his masterpiece “'All the way to Chicago and back'”.

Do you hear that, Caruso? 50-100,000 people committed to kill you! That is all we know how to do. Our greatest masterpiece is seven words. The rest of Kinstantinov's time was spent sharpening knives and raping his enemies, his friends, and his wife. You are doomed.

Sports!

I am on left. My name is Dan Kolov. I am famous Bulgarian wrestler. Once I killed a man by putting head in lock and squeezing. In Bulgaria, we call this a hug!

I joke. We do not. We call it equisite vengenance.

Do you see my girth, fat man? My strength? I will end you. You have fired your last Bulgarian.

Praise Bulgaria.

Sex!

I am Dr. Carl Djerassi. Of Bulgarian descent, I made my name inventing the oral contraceptive pill. I just think it is amusing to me, a man of science and vengenace, that my life's work mocks that fat, sexless creep Caruso. I have no wish to kill you. Just to see you suffer.

Art!

I am Christo! I was born in Bulgaria, and am still enthralled with my native land of mountians and sorrow. I think, for my next living artowrk, my next display of vastness and energy and innovation which challenges our very concept of what art is, I will create a giant cloak made enitrely out of eggshells, delicately interwoven, then wrap Matthew Caruso in it, and proceed to whomp the living shit out of him with a cricket bat.

Fun and game time! Horray

This is Bulgarian version of game American kids play, you call "smear the queer". Caruso, when you play, can you guess who will be the queer? Yes! You! And you will die!