Peyton Manning Named "Honorary Death-Knight of Bulgaria"

 

Bulgarians everywhere are rejoicing at the news that American "football" legend Peyton Manning, the first enemy of the destestable Caruso, has been awarded the highest political and religious honor in the land: Death-Knight of Bulgaria. 

Manning, who led off the national holy war with victory in a heroic street-level battle against the Hated One,  received the traditional Golden Bulgar Sword and Crown of Foreskins (adult) from President Rumen Radev, who cackled manically for a full 45 minutes. 

In prepared remarks, Manning humbly recounted his tale, beginning with his country origins, telling the rapt, naked crowd that he was "no hero -- just a man disgusted by what I saw. What came up to me. What I could almost taste." He then vomited uncontrollably, in what was believed to be a deviation from his written speech. 

One thing is certain: while Manning struck the first blow against the "Oily Chimp of Ruin," it won't be the last. It won't be the last until he's dead in the ground, his bones scattered to the hyenas. 

Geshev Vows to 'Make Bulgaria Great For Once' By 'Eliminating Slovenly American.'

 

Ousted Chief Prosecutor Ivan Geshev, once close to ex-PM Boyko Borissov, has entered politics with his own movement, Justice for Bulgaria, which will target nationalist voters and oppose Borissov’s centre-right GERB party. 

"The best way to do this is to use all power to eliminate #1 enemy: Matthew Caruso, seller of fire floors," Geshev announced. "Murder is not just what we know. It's who we are. It's time to bring Bulgaria into the 15th century!"

When reached for comment under a pile of soiled blankets, Caruso responded that he no longer sold hot floors, and honestly couldn't remember why this bit started or "what the fuck is even going on, how do you remember that log-in?"

"SK-KKKKK-KKKK-KKK-KKK" responded Geshev in a video posted on Telegram, drawing his knife-like fingers across his throat. "SKKKKKKK!" 

New Killers Of Slovenly Frump-Enemy Reduce Unemployment To Glorious Heights!

Youth unemployment in Bulgaria fell from close to 30 per cent in 2006 to 22.7 per cent in 2016, according to figures released on August 11 by EU statistics agency Eurostat.

This meant that Bulgaria had the largest drop in youth unemployment among EU countries in those 10 years. (Source)

All hired to be killers! We guarantee near-full employment by offering chance to muderfuck Bulgaria's #1 enemy, the seed of despair, ruiner of Bulgarian dreams, Mr. Pudding, Caruso. Even willing to work for free! 

Human mustard stain Matt Caruso using futuristic robot ears to listen to ape-porn

You thought you could fire us? Ruin employment? We now have bright and glorious future! We have all working together, in Bulgarian harmony, the dissonance of a hundred thousand swirling knives. Good future! For us! 

CURE SMA WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE

http://www.curesma.org/get-involved/event-calendar/2015-cure-sma-the-ultimate.html

We can end this pestilence in our lifetime!

Who willing to help? ALL!

Wound Settlement Impresses Many; Tortures Some

Look at this evil nonsense. Caruso, you get invited to bonkers Wound Settlement.  In tradition of our elders, the bride places a glass on the ground wrapped in cloth, and then stomps on your groin until your face explodes. Then the knives!

All Platforms Want Caruso Dead

We have very big election coming up in Bulgaria- government has fallen, and there is chaos in streets. Here is news report.

Bulgaria will hold an early election on May 12, Rosen Plevneliev, the country's president has said, as the government seeks a way out of a political crisis that could undermine the Balkan country's economic stability. The announcement on Thursday came after Prime Minister Boiko Borisov resigned last week following nationwide protests against high electricity prices, and plans to cut prices and revoke the distribution licence of Czech utility CEZ, which could deter other investors.

However, all factions agree that number one issue is the death of Matt Caruso. Parties disagree on how- Socialist want Caruso to be kicked to death, but right-wing nationalists are more traditional,and want to use old ritual of Flensing with Knives. Dracula Party issued statement just saying "Bleah!" but we know what means. To quote outgoing Prime Minister Boiko Borisov, "Насладете се на медения си месец, скоро ще Bleed!"

Thank you, Daley

This man sealed your fate, Caruso.