All Platforms Want Caruso Dead

We have very big election coming up in Bulgaria- government has fallen, and there is chaos in streets. Here is news report.

Bulgaria will hold an early election on May 12, Rosen Plevneliev, the country's president has said, as the government seeks a way out of a political crisis that could undermine the Balkan country's economic stability. The announcement on Thursday came after Prime Minister Boiko Borisov resigned last week following nationwide protests against high electricity prices, and plans to cut prices and revoke the distribution licence of Czech utility CEZ, which could deter other investors.

However, all factions agree that number one issue is the death of Matt Caruso. Parties disagree on how- Socialist want Caruso to be kicked to death, but right-wing nationalists are more traditional,and want to use old ritual of Flensing with Knives. Dracula Party issued statement just saying "Bleah!" but we know what means. To quote outgoing Prime Minister Boiko Borisov, "Насладете се на медения си месец, скоро ще Bleed!"

Thank you, Daley

This man sealed your fate, Caruso.

Fun Facts!

"Chicago is the city with the largest Bulgarian community. According to different sources there are between 60,000 and 100,000 Bulgarians in the area. The city has been popular among Bulgarians ever since Aleko Konstantinov wrote his masterpiece “'All the way to Chicago and back'”.

Do you hear that, Caruso? 50-100,000 people committed to kill you! That is all we know how to do. Our greatest masterpiece is seven words. The rest of Kinstantinov's time was spent sharpening knives and raping his enemies, his friends, and his wife. You are doomed.

Sports!

I am on left. My name is Dan Kolov. I am famous Bulgarian wrestler. Once I killed a man by putting head in lock and squeezing. In Bulgaria, we call this a hug!

I joke. We do not. We call it equisite vengenance.

Do you see my girth, fat man? My strength? I will end you. You have fired your last Bulgarian.

Praise Bulgaria.

Fun and game time! Horray

This is Bulgarian version of game American kids play, you call "smear the queer". Caruso, when you play, can you guess who will be the queer? Yes! You! And you will die!

Hello Caruso!

We understand you have date tonight with sexy teacher. We Bulgarians know all, even though we are semi-literate knife-junkies. We hope you have a good time with this woman. Maybe you should ask her how to teach you to beg for death in Bulgarian. Might come in handy real soon.

Interesting facts of Bulgarian history

At this time the heresy known as Bogomilism (named after the monk who founded it) began. Briefly, its tenets were that Satan was the first born son of God the Father, Jesus the second, that matter was the creation of Satan and that obeying governments and kings was forbidden by God, as was the hierarchy of the Greek Orthodox church. (1) With its strongly anti-authoritarian philosophy, it gained great popularity among the lower classes, and its influence lasted into the 15th century.


You read that, you motherfucker Caruso? We think Satan is better than Jesus. Do you have any ideas the torments that will befall you? We are sick and dangerous assholes with a country soaked in heresy and violence.

President Georgi Parvanov

My fellow Bulgarians- we have requested from American President George Bush the extradition of our fat tormentor, Matthew Caruso. Extraditionlike our old tradition of kidnapping, but with papers. I have done this so that all Bulgarians- men, women, folkloric monsters, Gypsy, homosexuals- can take joy in various stabbings, punchings, Bulgarian buffets, gougings, sac twistings, biting and other elements of pain that have made our nation what it is. Re-elect Parvanov- blood on everyone's hands!

This is the last thing you will ever see, Caruso, enemy of Bulgaria

The samodivi, the fierce, enchanting nymphs of the forests and the waters who can call down the moon and ride wild deer with bow in hand, reflect some aspects of the great Thracian goddess, Bendis. The medieval hero Krali Marko is overlaid with an earlier mythology possibly extending as far back as the Thracian Horseman god who dispensed both life and death. And stories of animals that are human and humans that are animals may derive from an even earlier era.

I am hot Bulgarian

You want to fucky-fuck, Caruso? Yes- I fuck you in ass, with knife! All Bulgarians hate you.

Goal of women's hoops team is to kill Caruso! And score hoops! Go sports!

Fuck the fat killer

We are the ones who will do the deed. We put face on curb and smash. In America, I think you call it curbing. We call it "Bulgarian Buffet", "buffet" being a Bulgarian word meaning "facesmash".

I am Bulgarian killer

Watch when I put gun in your face and kill, Caruso. Maybe you shouldn't fire countryman. I fire you!*


*By this I mean I fire at you. I use my dropping of articles to make pun, yes?

I am top Bulgarian killer

I think tonight you die, Caruso!

Fire us?

We will kill you, Caruso!