We come to kill you, Caruso!: October 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Fun and game time! Horray

This is Bulgarian version of game American kids play, you call "smear the queer". Caruso, when you play, can you guess who will be the queer? Yes! You! And you will die!

We understand you have date tonight with sexy teacher. We Bulgarians know all, even though we are semi-literate knife-junkies. We hope you have a good time with this woman. Maybe you should ask her how to teach you to beg for death in Bulgarian. Might come in handy real soon.

Interesting facts of Bulgarian history

At this time the heresy known as Bogomilism (named after the monk who founded it) began. Briefly, its tenets were that Satan was the first born son of God the Father, Jesus the second, that matter was the creation of Satan and that obeying governments and kings was forbidden by God, as was the hierarchy of the Greek Orthodox church. (1) With its strongly anti-authoritarian philosophy, it gained great popularity among the lower classes, and its influence lasted into the 15th century.

You read that, you motherfucker Caruso? We think Satan is better than Jesus. Do you have any ideas the torments that will befall you? We are sick and dangerous assholes with a country soaked in heresy and violence.

Monday, October 29, 2007

President Georgi Parvanov

My fellow Bulgarians- we have requested from American President George Bush the extradition of our fat tormentor, Matthew Caruso. Extraditionlike our old tradition of kidnapping, but with papers. I have done this so that all Bulgarians- men, women, folkloric monsters, Gypsy, homosexuals- can take joy in various stabbings, punchings, Bulgarian buffets, gougings, sac twistings, biting and other elements of pain that have made our nation what it is. Re-elect Parvanov- blood on everyone's hands!

This is the last thing you will ever see, Caruso, enemy of Bulgaria

The samodivi, the fierce, enchanting nymphs of the forests and the waters who can call down the moon and ride wild deer with bow in hand, reflect some aspects of the great Thracian goddess, Bendis. The medieval hero Krali Marko is overlaid with an earlier mythology possibly extending as far back as the Thracian Horseman god who dispensed both life and death. And stories of animals that are human and humans that are animals may derive from an even earlier era.